Just a Little Push!
by JJBluebell
Summary: a girl, her uncle and boyfriend move to town, her and rory becoming fast friends! but she see's jess is a much better fit for her and she and dean dont get along but what will hapen when Dean and Jackie find themselfs careing for the other? PLEASE REVIEW
1. Welcome to Stars Hollow

I sit in a deep sleep as I feel a hand shake me lightly and say in a Yorkshire accent "luv, wake up we're here" I open my eyes to see my boyfriend Connor smiling at me lightly as I stroke his stubble cheek. His chocolate brown eyes shining and his soft brunette hair flying every which way. He's older than me, but only by a few years, he's 22 and I'm 17, but the age thing wasn't an issue because we've known each other since I was 14. I get out of the red truck and see movers taking in our things as I examine our new home in Stars Hollow.

It's a big white house, vibrant green vines claming up the wall, with pillars and a porch all the way round, two large front doors and five windows. The garden was big and green with a large oak tree. I feel to warm long arms rap around my waist and a chin rest on my head, nuzzling into my brown locks and saying "what'd ye think?" I cant hide my smile and say "I love it! Its beautiful!" then hear someone shout in a London voice "Jackie! Connor! So glad your finally here" I smile up to my uncle, his hair and curled goatee white as snow, I hug him and say "hay Charlie!" he shakes Connors hand "hello my boy, well I am sure your both starved. Gwen dear could you hold down the fort whilst I treat my niece and friend to some lunch?" he asked his assistant who nodded in reply.

With that we walked to a near by diner, but I was looking around and didn't see the petite brunette as I bumped into her and dropped her books. "oh am sorry, I wasn't lookin where I was goin" she smiled to me as I helped her with her books, "its ok, no harm done. Am Rory" we stand and I take the girls hand and say "Jackie, this is my boyfriend Connor and my uncle Charlie. We just moved here" they both shook the girls hand as she said "oh, well welcome to Stars Hollow. I got'a go, see you round." I nod to the girl and walk to the diner that read Lukes. When we began eating I saw Rory and another slightly older women walk in and we ask them to join us, that was how my friendship with Rory Gilmore began.

It had been a few months since we moved in and everything was going grate, we fit in really well, Charlie worked his stables up in Hartford, he loved horses, Connor got a job at a tea shop café, and I was started Stars Hollow high. Rory and I became fast and best friends, her mother and I got on grate, as did me and Lane, even Mrs Kim liked me, I think. The only person I didn't get on with was Dean, it was nothing personal, I just found him annoying and moronic.

Connor and I walked into Luke's the morning after we got back from visiting Connors sister back in England, its only been two weeks but it feels like its been forever, I really missed this nut house, and saw a curly haired boy reading behind the counter, that must be Jess, Luke's nephew that Rory had told me about on the phone.

Connor and I walked to our usual table and found Kirk sitting there I looked at him and said "your in our seat Kirk" he looked up at me with fear and then moved quickly. I saw Luke come from the kitchen and gave him a long hug, as did Connor, he asked "hay guys, how was your trip?" we smiled and took our seats as Connor said "it was good, my sister is marrying a wanker but its her life." I smiled to his and ordered our usual when I saw Rory practically fly through the door screaming "JACKIE!" I stood and ran to her "RORY!" I hugged my friend tightly and said as we pulled away "I missed you, so much. England is cold!" she giggled as we sat with Connor and Jess came over with our food and Rory said "Jackie and Connor, Jess, Jess, Jackie and Connor" we each shook his hand as he said "so you're the infamous Jackie" I nod and say "yep that's me, ant I grate" he takes Rory's order and when he comes back with her drink I ask her "so, how's you and growth spurt?" she scowled me, Jess and Connor laughed lightly and she said "I wish you wouldn't call him that" I shrug and say "and uncle Charlie wish's Connor and I would have sex quietly, don't mean it's goanna happin" she snorts into her coffee at my comment and Connor just smiles at me cheekily, while Jess looked shocked but amused.

Later on in school I'm walking when I see Jess and walk to him and say "hay Jess" he turn and greets me in kind, then suddenly Dean is standing in front of us and says "Jackie did you do your half of the book report?" I look up to him with a evil smile and said "Hello to you to growth spurt, I was wondering where all the light in the hall went, and yes I did I already handed it in" he just nods, not realizing I'd just insulted him then scowled Jess at left. I turn to jess and ask "what's with the evils you jus got from not so jolly green, ah?" he smiles at my words and says "he doesn't like Rory hanging out with the town hoodlum. Why do you two seem to hate each other so much?" I shrug as we walk and say "I don't know. He jus gets on my nerves you know, he's got one of those clapper monkey things where his brain is meant to be. He isn't good enough for Rory! She needs some on with a brain to match and challenge hers, someone to keep her on her toes, someone like…you!" I grin to Jess who only shakes his head and said "maybe, when she loses bag boy. Later Jackie" I watch as he walks away and my mind is already working on evil plans to bring the two closer together.

I know I sound like a bitch, but really I just want my friend to be happy and the way she looked at Jess made her smile, she talked about him on the phone and I could hear her heart skipping, where as Dean brought her down, she did whatever he asked because that what he expected, and I've never seen her laugh with him or shine the way she did when she spoke to Jess. So really I'm helping a friend in need! Right? Right!


	2. My Routine

Its been awhile now since we got back from England, so for my plan of 'Jess and Rory coupling' is at a zero on the progress scale. Like last week I told Rory to meet me in the park so we could have a girl day and then I told Jess he could copy my homework and to meet me at the same place, then I was going to page them both saying I got my days mixed up and couldn't make it, but who intervenes, oh no, not growth spurt, but Conner, my Connor betrayed me. He told Dean he saw Jess and Rory looking friendly in the park! How could he do this to me? I'm still completely pissed at him.

I stomp into the dinner and over to the counter I stare at Kirk in a fiery way, he quickly puts money down on the table and scurries out of the dinner. I take his seat and Jess comes over "how did you do that? He's been sitting there since we opened." I give a fake smile "some sing, create works of art, I scare people into doing what I want!" I say as I take my lunch bag out and steal the largest toffee muffin from the display and place it in my lunch box "um, Jackie, you cant just take that!" I look up at him and sigh "yes I can! Luke get me my soda! Cherry coke!" from the kitchen the capped man appears and asks "Kirk gone?" I nod in confirmation and he goes to grab my soda. Jess stands staring at us in confusion "ok, what's going on?" as Luke passes me the cooled soda he explains "when Jackie first came into the dinner there were no seats, so she scared Kirk into leaving, I gave her a free pastry and soda." I look up and finish "he said I can have a free soda and pastry of my choice if whenever I'm in here I can make Kirk leave." the boy nods in understanding and says "uh" and then goes back to work.

Schools the same old same old, but in Chemistry I notice Jess is missing, then again in the next class I have with him. He's cutting! After school I see him, Jess, walking back to the dinner from the bridge and run over "you!" I say pointing a finger in his face "hello to you to Jackie." I glare at him angrily "you've been cutting! Why? Your really smart! I've seen when you and Rory start talking, its like I walked into the gibberish section at Mensa!" he chuckles and I smack him in the arm "don't laugh! Now you will stop cutting or I'll tell Luke and beat the crap out'a you! Got it." he sighs and shrugs "Jackie, its just so boring! I mean I already know more than the teachers. I just don't see the point." I punch him again and he rubs his arm in pain "because if you don't go then you wont graduate! So suck it up brainy-ach!" he smiles again as I drag him to the diner to catch up on what he missed in our shared classes.

When I get home I greet my uncle with a hug and run up to my room. I walk in and place my things in their rightful specks. I love my room, its my dream room. The ceiling is decorated like the night sky, fairy lights glowing through each star. The walls are a pail blue, navy coloured vines climbing out of the corners, silver fairy's and butterfly's scattered across the walls. My bed is four poster fairy tail bed, the posts being tree shaped and all. I have a white oak wardrobe in the far corner, a white oak dresser and chest next to my bed and white oak bedside table with a angel lamp. My floor is navy blue carpet and my window is a large half circle with a cushioned window seat. My TV is in the corner by the door. Conner thinks this room is childish, so he sleeps in the one next door, it's a plain gold patterned room, and yeah maybe he's right, but it's the room I dreamed of as a kid and finally have. So screw his opinion!

I change and head over to Rory's, Conner isn't back from work until six so I'm on my own mostly, uncle Charlie fell asleep in front of the TV and I didn't want to wake him. I quickly run over to Rory's and let myself in "dudetts, anyone home?" my smile dies as I walk into the living room and find Dean on the couch. He stands we cross our arms and stand determined " Hello talk, dark, and annoying!" he huffs "well at least I'm not so short I dripped over a penny." I take a step closer and say "Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?" just as he takes a step forward, but before anything else could be said Rory came in with a bowl of popcorn, a pleading look on her face "guys?" I don't look at her "thought you'd want to hang, didn't know you had a trip to the Eiffel Tower planed!" his anger is clear as she steps between us "Jackie! Dean! Guys please!" I look at her earnest expression and sigh in defeat "sorry. Look am out'a here. Later Ror. call me." and quickly leave the house.

I walk over to the gazebo, I like it here, open air, pretty views, watching everyone living their lives. Christmas is coming, it'll be snowing soon. I love the snow. It makes me feel safe, reminds me of good times from before…well, before 'it' happened. I didn't realize I was crying until someone's sitting next to me, a small voice says "hey are you ok?" I look over and find a girl, just a little girl with a blond bob and blue eyes looking up at me. I smile sadly "am fine sweetie" I wipe my eyes as she says "no your not, but that's ok. Sometimes we have to be sad and cry it out so that we can get past it and be happy again. I'm Clara. I like your necklace." she smiles up at me and I cant help but smile back "thanks. Am Jackie" I look down at my necklace, it's a silver key with a fairy sitting on it, nothing important, not to me anyway, but she's looking at it with such devotion I quickly unclasp it "here, you have it." as I place it in her hand she looks at me in wonder "really?" I nod with a laugh "yeah, I never really wear the thing anyway and you seem to really like it. So think of it as a thank you, for being nice to a crying stranger." suddenly a loud, familiar voice calls her name "Clara, there you are. Moms been looking everywhere." I look over and find Dean looking back, but don't have the energy to argue "ok" the girl flings her arms around me and thanks me, then rushes past her brother to a older blond woman.

Dean looks down at me sceptically "what?" I bite bitterly "what did you do to my sister? She never hugs anyone who isn't family." I shrug and smile "I don't know. Your lucky, having her." he looks down at me confused as I stand "don't take her for granted, take care of her." he just looks at me in puzzlement "I do. Its my job." our words aren't harsh or mean for once, just honest. I walk past him and head for home, its almost time for supper, I must have been sitting there longer than I thought.

When I get in its already dark so I run to the dinning room, Connor and Charlie already seated "babe, there ya are. Wonderin were ya got to." I smile and sit next to him and uncle Charlie smiles and takes my hand, I take Connor's as we give thanks then start to eat. I don't have much, just a sandwich and a green apple, then head for bed. I cant sleep as my ceiling twinkles and my TV flickers some random thing, because I never did concur my fear of the dark. I open my wooden chest and pull out a green cotton bound photo album. As I go to open it my bedroom door creeps open, Connor, standing there with a grin on his face "hey babe, miss me?" I smile back to him weakly and walk over to my bed, album in hand. He sits next to me his hand on my knee as he starts kissing my neck, I shrug out of it and look to the floor when he asks "what's wrong?" I shrug and say gently "am jus not in the mood." he sighs in annoyance "are ya ever?" I look up at him, hurt "Connor!" he stand with a stomp "what? your never in the mood anymore! Is there someone else?" I look at him in complete astonishment "don't be stupid! I jus don't fancy it tonight!" he storms out slamming the door with a "whatever" and leaves me to curl up, clinging to my memories in a book as I cry myself to sleep.

The next morning I walk into look like a zombie, Kirk moves on instinct and leaves. it's the last day of school so most kids are pretty psyched, but not me, after last night I feel down, besides school is part of my routine, I like routine. I take a seat on shout "ice cream pancakes!" Luke rushes past Jess, who's reading instead of serving "what's wrong?" jess comes over with my usual soda and interrupts "what's wrong with you? Girl just wants something different." I don't look up as someone sits next to me and Luke informs them "she ordered ice cream pancakes!" I can hear their gasp of horror, its Rory "oh god, Jackie talk to us." I just shrug "nothing to talk bout" as my plate is placed in front of me, when the diner realises my order it turns mostly silent.

I say goodbye to Rory and Luke as Jess and I leave for school "what was all that about with the pancakes?" I roll my eyes and explain "I only order ice cream pancakes when I'm really on a downer. Last time I had them I got suspended from school for throwing a kid out the window for staring down my shirt. The time before that I punched Taylor and broke his nose, the list goes on." he makes that 'hu' noise and we walk in as the bell rings.

I sit with Lane in English, we were given this assignment last week, to write a poem on our views of life, as my names called I pick up my note book and speak aloud "the world is cold and hard, yet warm and gentle. It takes away the things we cherish, but gives new ones to adore. The world isn't a fairytale or anything so pure. We live each day in ignorance, not taking every chance, unaware that this may be the last time we dance. So take in each season, each laugh and heated word, because come tomorrow they may not be there for them to be heard." the class claps and our teacher smiles and nods for me to sit down. After class I rush out and bump into someone, I drop my books "here let me help." I look up and see Dean as he hands me back my note book "that was nice, the poem." I look around awkwardly, wondering what he wants "look, I just wanted to give you this back." he dangles the necklace I gave to Clara in my face and I snatch it "what? No this was a gift!" he sighs and says "yeah, to a kid you don't know! What did you give it to her for? to get to me or something?" I scoff at his self involvement "I didn't know she was your sister when I gave it to her! She's a sweet kid, she liked it, I didn't care for it, I gave it to her. It was nothing about you! So get your head out's ya arse and give Clara back the necklace." with that I force it into his shirt pocket and storm to my next class.

When the school day ends I sigh in relief, no incidents, I managed to control my temper. When I reach the steps outside I stop, because at the bottom there's Connor, his hair a mess, stubble short, he looks a mess. I walk down and go to pass him as he grabs my arm and turns me to face him "Jackie, wait!" I cant look at him, so I look past him instead, only to see Rory and Dean greeting each other lovingly with kisses "look bout las night…I was a complete ass! I know. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I'm sorry. Please forgive a man for bein a twat." I look up into his brown eyes and smile sweetly as I punch him full force in the arm "don't ever do that again" h rubs at his arm for a minuet then smiles triumphantly and takes me into a swinging hug. We're ok, he's a dick, but we're ok and all right with the world.

Later that night I sit in my room, I told Charlie and Connor I wasn't feeling well and excused myself from supper. I just wanted to be alone, but a knock at the door interrupts me "come in!" I shout and the person enters. Its uncle Charlie, he sets a try of fresh fruits he knows I like down on my side table, then sits next to me on the end of the bed. He drapes a loving arm around me and questions "what's wrong my dear?" I look up at him as I sob "do you think their happy, wherever they are, Heaven?" he smiles sweetly "of cause they are. Their watching over you my dear, be sure of it." I smile up at his belief, but then he says "I talked to your mother today, I didn't want to be alone for Christmas so…" but I stop him "its ok uncle Charlie, I get it." he smiles sadly and cups my face "one day it will all make sense!" I shake my head "how could this make any sense? Why them?" he holds me to him as I sob "I don't know my dear. The lord works in mysterious ways…and sometimes he takes the best of us for himself." I look up at him, his eyes blue glazed over with my shared grief "I'll be fine now. Promise. Thanks for the fruit." he smiles sweetly and leaves. Closing the door behind him.

As it shuts I crawl to the top of my bed and take out the album, I gently open it and look down at this first image. Theirs a slightly younger me with her hair curled, but my cheek is pressed against an identical one, a girl with my face, but straight hair, my twin sister Kristal. Behind us is a couple, a well dressed black haired woman and a kind smiling man with chestnut hair, just like mine and Kristy's. and finally, between me and my sister is a small boy with black hair and big blue eyes, Matthew, Mattie, my baby brother. I caress three faces lovingly with longing, my dad, sister and brother. I lay down and look at the image "god I miss you." and place it carefully on my nightstand and dream of a time before, back when they were here, alive…my family.


	3. Past Pains

The snows here, finally! The snowman building competition is today, I'm going to help Rory and Lorelai, its better than being trapped inside all day on my own. What with Connor and uncle Charlie at work. I quickly change into my v-neck woolly green jumper over my white t-shirt, wearing blue fitted jeans and my green sneakers. I throw my hair into a high pony, my side bangs split around my face. As I leave I quickly grab my white coat, the hood rimmed with fake white fur.

When I get to the competition they've already started and are now glaring at some man with his amazing invention from snow. I walk over to them and think aloud "is it wrong that I want to go over and kick that snowman?" they turn to me and smile "no honey, because so do I!" she says as he starts using power tools! On a freakin snow man! "that cant be allowed can it?" at the end of my sentence the head falls off of our snow man and they sigh in defeat "Jackie you coming for coffee?" I shake my head "I'll finish up here, but bring me back a tea please, two sugars." they look at me "would you like a crompet with that?" the mother asks, I smile "its pronounced crumpet! And if he has any, then yes, lots of butter!" we laugh as they walk away. I bend down and pick up the fallen head, then move some snow to find a strong stick. When I find it I push it through the neck of our snow woman then place the head back into position. I smile triumphantly as a blond girl runs over "hey Jackie!" I smile down at her "hey Clara, you havin fun? Bein off school and that." she nods her head and fiddles with her necklace, that I gave her "its pretty cool. Thanks for not taking the necklace back, dean said you were only being nice and stuff to get to him so he had to give it back, but then he said sorry and stuff." I kneel down and smile "Clara, first thing to know about boys, they think everything is about them, even when its not." she bite her lip then asks "so why did you give it to me?" I take her free hand "because you're my friend and you liked it." she looks happy but sceptical "we're friends?" I smile and declare "sure we are! Just because Dean and I don't get on doesn't mean we cant be friends right?" she smiles and nods "I should get back, moms taking me shopping for Christmas clothes." she gives me a hug and runs over to her mother. Cute kid, shame her brothers a dick!

I walk into the Luke's and over to my snowman building companions "hey guys!" they seem confused as I start removing Lorelai's scarf and smile "later!" then run back out. I go over to the our snow woman and place it gently around her neck and smile triumphantly "done!" they walk over and as I take my tea they ask "you did it! Its done! How did you get the head to stay on?" I smile, taking a sip of my tea, "family secret! Sorry girls!" they circle the creation, I only put the head back on and outlined some details, but she looks good.

Rory and I are going shopping for Christmas clothes, we're headed over to Lane's to see if she wants to come. I knock on the door and smile as it opens "good day Mrs Kim." she smiles back "Jackie, Rory, hello! How can I help you?" from my side Rory asks "we're going shopping for Christmas clothes and were wondering if Lane would like to come." she seems sceptic and stern "Mrs Kim, I promise you we will take good care of Lane and make sure all purchases are appropriate. Oh, and…" I open up my bag and pull out a figurine of a baby sleeping in angel wings, an engraving on the larger wing "I know it's a little early for Christmas presents, but I saw this and I knew I had to get it for you." she smiles and handles it delicately, reading the engraving "the angels of the lord protect us all. Their wings a shield from the darkness of the world, but a promise to show us the light of heaven." she smiles happily "oh, Jackie, its beautiful!" she looks up at us, cradling the figure, her face stern again "Lane id to come home and three o'clock, not one minute later." we nod and Rory says "we understand Mrs Kim." she shouts up to Lane and we leave.

After shopping we head for Luke's, well after dropping Lane off, after all it is 2:55. Once there I dropped my bags and sigh "Luke! Oh food bringer! Feed us!" he walks over and asks "what's with all the bags?" Rory smiles and says "Jackie went a little crazy" I sit up at attention "I did not! I just couldn't decide, so I bought a few more things than originally planned!" he sighs "you have eight bags here, Rory has three." I glare at him in annoyance "shut up! And I'll have a plain chicken burger with fries and a orange juice please. No bits!" he smiles at my somewhat healthy choice while Rory making a gagging sound and ordered a beef burger with everything, cheese fries and a soda. I cant help but be disgusted at her choice, but amazed that she's so skinny.

Rory and I drop our bags at our houses, then walk to the video store. As I browse through the horror section she says "you know, I was shocked that your not going back to England for Christmas." I stand, reading a case "because my mum doesn't want me there. Charlie tried to cover for her, but I heard them on the phone. I didn't expect anything less." I look up at my friends sympathetic expression and smile "I didn't want to go back anyway. This is my home, you lot are my family. Screw Marie, who needs the stuck up bitch." she smiles back sweetly as I raise the case "we're getting this!" she takes it and says "final destination? Again? You've seen this movie six times!" I smile and snatch it back, walking backwards to the till "what harm can seven make? Besides, Alex is cute!" she laughs and picks a movie of her choice while I pay for mine.

I drop Rory at her house at five, knowing she has Friday night dinners tonight, then head home. As I walk home I smile at seeing my friend reading on a bench "hey, brainy-ach!" he smiles up at me "hey, where you going?" I look over to the direction on my house "home. Wanna walk a girl." he stands and puts his book in his pocket "sure." as he walk I ask "so what are your Christmas plans?" he shrugs "what ever Luke puts in front of me. You?" I chuckle and say "whatever Charlie's doing. Your mum comin up to see you or anything?" he shakes his head "nope, Luke covered for her, but she didn't call." I nod and say "your lucky. Yours forgot, mine called and said she didn't want me there." he looks at me "wait, your mom actually called to tell you she didn't want you around for Christmas? that's cold." I shrug and carry on walking "am used to it. Marie and I aren't exactly the English Gilmore girls. We were never really close. Mattie was her favourite." I smile at the memory of him as Jess questions "Mattie? I didn't know you had a brother." I look at my feet, realizing we'd stopped "sister to, Kristal or Kristy as I called her, twin sister actually,… but their gone now." he doesn't push as we say goodnight and I walk into the house.

Then next day Connors off work so we spend the day together, we go and watch some action movie he wanted to see and go to bowling ally, the bowling was fun, the movie not so much. As we walk into the diner I see three unhappy faces "girls what's up?" I say as we sit next to Rory, Lorelai and Sookie "the group that hired out the in are stuck in Chicago!" from next to me Connor says "bummer, you lot were really lookin forward to this dinner thing." they nod solemnly as Luke comes over and suddenly we're all invited to this dinner. On the walk home Connor tries to wriggle out of coming, but he has no say. Uncle Charlie is very excited.

The next day at school its all people are talking about, by people I mean Lane, me and Jess. I walk Lane out of school, when Dean comes over asking about the dinner. I don't speak to him, being in to good a mood for a fight. Suddenly I see Jess fighting with some guy. Dean and I run over, but as he pulls jess off he goes for him. I stand between them "Jess stop!" he just looks at me "sorry Jackie. didn't see you there, hope I didn't get you." I shake my head "you didn't." he walks off and I leave him to it, knowing my friend needs a cool down. When I turn there's Dean "thanks, guys such a jerk!" I glare at him "no he's my friend! He has a bad temper and you got in the way." before the argument can start I leave. I need to get ready for tonight.

I change into one of my new dresses. It's a red, off the shoulder, v-neck with a built in bodice and full skirt, ending mid knee. Theirs a black lace floral net over the red silk with a black lace ribbon around the waist. My shoes are small heel, red straps. My hair is curled, all but my straightened bangs, some of the curls pinned back with a butterfly clip. My make up is simple, smoky red eye shadow and black mascara. I smile at my refection, I don't look over the top, but elegant. Connor is wearing a nice green dress shirt and black pants, while Charlie is wearing a black suite, making his white hair and beard stand out!

We bump into Jess and Luke on our way in, I smile to the man taking the coats as two arms are suddenly around me, squeezing my tight. I look down and smile, hugging the small girl back "hey Jackie will you sit with me at dinner?" I look past her to a confused Rory and concerned Dean "I think you should ask your brother, he'll want to sit with you!" she shrugs and looks back over at the tall boy "Dean? Can Jackie sit with us at dinner?" he looks at me then her "um, sure. If she wants." the small child beams up at me "cool, but no fighting!" I nod and give a small salute "yes captain!" she giggles and runs off. Uncle Charlie walks over as Connor asks "what was that about?" I shrug "that's Clara, she's a good kid." he nods as Charlie appears "we are in room 47!" I smile as he tucks the key away in his pocket and Connor looks over at Jess and says "I'll be right back." he goes over and I cant help the bad feeling in my gut.

I wonder over to Rory through the crowd, she's talking to some older well dressed people "Rory!" I smile and she smiles back "Hey, Jackie I'd like you to meet my grandparents Emily and Richard Gilmore, grandma, grandpa this is Jackie." I shake their hands "grate to finally meet you, Rory's told me so much. All good of course." they smile back "lovely to meet to also,. Might I say that you look stunning!" I smile at the older woman "thanks, Mrs Gilmore, you look fantastic yourself." then Lorelai and Sookie ask for our attention at the front. Apparently there's horse drawn carriages outside. Connor and I jump at the chance for the ride, uncle Charlie is to preoccupied with the horses to care about the rides.

At dinner I sit next to Clara and Connor, who seems to be glaring at Jess, Uncle Charlie is sat next to Mrs Kim, their belief if god makes them real good friends. The meal is long, but fun and I don't think I'll be able to eat for a week after tonight. Connor and I go up to the room the change. I quickly wash and slip into my blue pjs with purple stars on them, when I come out of the bathroom, I find uncle Charlie fast asleep snoring his head off in the middle bed and Connor climbing into his by the wall. I kiss him goodnight and try to sleep. It's been over an hour both men are now snoring and I cant get to sleep. I stand and put on my fluffy white slippers, then quietly creek though the room and out the door. I work my way down the lobby and sit by the window "hey, your up late." I look up and there's Jess "hey, yeah, I couldn't sleep." he nods in understanding "wanna take a walk?" I nod and stand, we grab out coats. I quickly change my shoes and sneak back out.

We walk into town and I say "am glad you're here Jess, you're a good friend to have." he smiles and says "I'm glad you're here to. Who else would try and help me destroy the bag boy?" I laugh and then ask "so why'd you get sent here?" he shrugs "because I was isolated at school, I cut class, didn't listen to my mom. What about you?" I look at him and answer sadly "my mum hates me. A few years ago, when I lived in England, my family all had nightly chores. Mattie shut the windows down stairs, mum shut the ones up stairs, Dad locked the front door, Kristy brought the dog in and I locked to back door. One night I didn't and someone broke in…as a result my brother, sister and dad ended up dead. Mum blamed me, she's never forgiven me." I look at his shocked and saddened face "she couldn't bare looking at me anymore, so she sent me away, Connor came with me." he shakes his head "it wasn't your fault, you were just a kid!" I nod and fight back my tears "I know, doesn't make it hurt any less though." he takes me in his arms and says "hey! How about we destroy that fancy snowman! I remember Rory said it's the reason you guys aren't winning!" I smile evilly and run to the snowman display.

When we get back to the inn I'm shattered "goodnight Jess, thanks. You're a good friend." he smiles "yeah, you to. Night Jackie." I smile as he walks off. I'm walking back to my room when I see someone in the shadows "who's there?" a hand touches me and I jump in fear, I turn and see who it is "Dean! You scared the crap out'a me!" I say hitting his arm. He just stands there with a light chuckle "sorry, didn't mean to scare you." I look up at him "what are you doing up so late?" to which he raises a glass of milk, I nod and explain "I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk." he nods back "look I just wanted to thank you, for being so nice to Clara, despite our mutual hatred." I look him up and down "she's a good kid, not her fault she got the empire state building for a brother." she shakes his head and back off with a smile "night, scary Mary!" I walk back to my room and fall into a peaceful sleep, unaware of the angry eyes watching me.


	4. He Loves Me

Things have been good, Rory and I chat and shop, Lorelai and I gossip and joke, Jess and I laugh at Dean, Dean and I argue and Uncle Charlie and Luke are like my surrogate dads. The only thing different is Connor, he either always wants to spend time with me or is pissed at me, I don't get it! Why the smothering?

Rory did better than me on our SAT's, not a real shocker, but I'm so proud of my scores. I got a 620 verbal and a 570 math. I hate math! The Gilmore's had their house tented and rebuilt. Rory was so freaked she stayed at my house for two days after, Connor was not happy about that!

So here I am at my usual spot at Luke's after school, rejecting my fifth call from Connor that hour, as Rory and a blond girl walk in, I smile at her "hey Ror. Who's this?" she smiles back and the girl looks at me in a way that reminds me of my mother "are you legal? Being here? Are they hiding illegal aliens in this town?" I look to the girl with my feared look "watch it Barbie!" then she's going at Luke, Jess coming from upstairs didn't seem to help matters. As my friend enjoys the comments and joins in I cant help but smile. It was funny! Luke looks really annoyed "who was that mad girl in my diner?" I smile and answer "I think that was Paris, Rory's talked about her every now and then. Apparently she's like a robotic, narcissistic, control freak. I think she was at the dinner at the inn a few weeks back to!" he sighs and gets back to work. Jess leans in and says "so, you busy today?" I shrug and smile "nothing official." then my phone goes off again and I sigh and look at the screen '_Connor' _flashing brightly "the boyfriend?" I look up at him, rejecting the call "I don't know what's wrong with him. He's all over me! All the time, he's mad or clingy! I cant win, I'm dieing here, Jess!" he leans in a little further and confesses "he told me to stay away from you." I look up in shock and rage "he wot? When?" looking around he answers "the dinner at the inn. He came over and said that you're his and to back off. I told him to go fuck himself!" he smirks and I nod "good! Urh! I cant believe him!" I stand and shout "I'll fix this!" and storm out of the diner.

I page Connor to meet me at the house and walk home as fast as my feet will take me. As I enter the threshold I shout "Connor!" he appears from the living room smiling happily "hey Babe!" he goes to hug me but I push him back "what is wrong wit you? You cant go around threatin my mates!" his face turns into and angry snarl "Jess!" he whispers and I nod "ye, Jess, my friend! Remember? What's gotten into you?" he takes a step closer and grabs my arms "you're my girlfriend, but you spend all your time with that shithead! Sneaking around!" but his words aren't what have my attention "Connor let me go!" his grip just tightens as he rabbles on, starting to shake me, and I scream "your hurting me!" realization dawns on him and he lets me go "Jackie! Oh god, am so sorry!" as he takes a step forward I back up, fighting my tears and I look into his eyes "who _are_ you?" and run out before he can respond.

I reach the entrance to the wood, just over the bridge, and slump to my knees sobbing. After a few moments I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I curiously and consciously roll up my three-quarter sleeve, revealing large, blue and purple fingerprint bruises. I cant stop the rivers of tears. I've never seen him like that before, I mean, yeah, he's always had a temper, but he's never handled me like that before! He did the two things that I thought he never could…he scared me and he hurt me.

I lose myself in my internal pain, the hurt from Connors man handling faded a while ago. Its cold, I don't realize I'm shaking in the snow, night air making it colder. The icy air drying my tear stained cheek. I stand and start walking, I don't know where, I'm so confused, I don't know where to go or what to do, so I just walk, just walk.

I stare at my moving feet against the pavement, my arms caressing my fresh bruises, cling to myself. A voice snaps me from my trance "Jackie? You ok?" I look up and see Dean, this is the part where I tell him to mind his own business and insult his height, but I don't. I look up at him, our eyes meeting and shake my head "I don't think so." I murmur in a dry sore voice. He takes some of my exposed arm, because I left my coat after what happened with Connor "God! Jackie your shaking! You must be freezing." he takes off his jacket and raps it around me "Jackie talk to me! What's wrong?…come on, bitch at me, tell me I don't deserve Rory, insult me, just do something." I look into his eyes again and cant fight my sob "I'm scared." his eyes search mine for some sort of answer as I brake, I cling to his shirt and sob and he lets me. He just hold me and whispers sweetly "its ok. You'll be ok." but the thing is, I don't think I will.

I can feel the heat from his jacket soothing the numbness in my arms as his hand rests on my back, guiding me. When he suggested taking me home I freaked and begged him not to, so he's walking me to Rory's. he's being really nice to me, its strange. Connors being mean to me, Dean being nice, It's like I slipped into a alternate universe or something.

When we get there Lorelai opens the door looking shocked, in her pjs, I guess its later than I thought "Jackie? Dean? What's going on?" I just continue to hold myself "I found her wondering round town. She really doesn't want to go home and she wont talk to me." he doesn't say it bitterly, but honestly, as we walk in she lifts my chin "Jackie, Honey, what happened?" I shake my head "I don't want to talk bout it. Can I stay ere tonight?" I barely manage to whisper. She nod "of course, I'll just call Charlie and let him know." she goes into the living room to call Charlie, at her hushed voice I can tell Rory must be asleep. I turn and look at Dean "thanks." I give him his jacket back and instantly feel the cold "don't mention it." he takes the jacket and I say "this don't change anything. You know that?" he smiles and chuckles "I know…Scary Mary." I smile back at him as he leaves.

When Lorelai comes in she has a green nightdress and some bedding. I smile. She doesn't push me to find out what's wrong, but I give her the cliff notes "Connor and I had a fight." she nods and says goodnight, leaving me to find some peace. When the morning comes I quickly change back into my jeans, but I'm wearing a navy turtle neck belonging to Lorelai, it's a little tight around the chest but whatever. I check my cell, no messages, thank god.

We walk to Luke's and I have strawberry pancakes with a lemonade, where the Gilmore's order way more than you'd think they could eat. I smile as Jess comes over, but as he bends down, face serious, he says "Psycho boyfriend five o'clock!" and then straightens himself and gets back to work. I turn and see as Connor comes into the diner. Lorelai, Rory, Jess and even Dean, who's sitting at the counter with some of his friends, glares at him. He has the decency to look ashamed as he asks "Jacks, can we talk?…in private?" I look around and say "we'll just be outside." Lorelai gives an angry nod, her eyes never leaving Connor "we'll be right here!" she says, kind of threatening. We walk out of the diner to the window "can we walk?" I cross my arms and frown "I think am safer here!" he sighs and I can see his eyes starting to water "Jacks, babe. Am so fuckin sorry. I don't know wot 'append to me! Please I know I don't deserve anything after what I did, but please!" I stare at him, his face pleading so hard with me "I love you!" he sobs and I cave. I take his hands in mine and smile weakly "I know!" he takes me in his arms and I look into the window, some faces, Lorelai, pleased, others, Jess, annoyed and then Dean, he seems angry. I don't care though, I have Connor, he loves me. He loves me! I mean he moved country, left behind everything for me, family, friends, how could I not forgive one temper tantrum? He loves me. Right?

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	5. My Link

I walk with Jess to Doisy's, I need a basket for this auction, I don't know who will buy it, Connor's had to go back to England after his sister, Alsea, got jilted by her fiancé, poor thing. He asked me to go but I said I didn't want to leave Charlie, when really I just need the space, if affection was a pillow I'd be in the ground by now!

As we get there we see Rory and Dean making out. Jess pesters them about the glue but I just smirk "Rory, Growth spurt." and we walk back a few isles. When Dean leaves Jess bumps in "Sorry! Two for one sale." he snatches up the tube as I pass Rory, grabbing a medium sized, white, woven picnic basket and head after my male friend "later Ror." I smile and go pay for my basket. Once we're outside I announce "you should buy Rory's basket tomorrow!" he looks at me "yeah? With what?" I smile and say "I'll give you the money, for helping out today." he nods "thanks Jackie." and I smile as we walk to my house, he's helping uncle Charlie move new furniture into his study while I prepare some food for the auction. That's right, I can cook. I offered to help Rory but she declined.

The next day I stand with Rory and Lorelai at the bidding, having given Jess his pay earlier. I cant hold my grin as Jess ends up paying $90 for the small, uneatable contents, basket. My baskets next, I pay $15 for it, because I would have killed myself if I spent the day with Kirk. I feel kina bad as I watch Rory stare after Dean, so as everyone goes off to eat I run to the direction I saw the tall boy head. When I finally catch up with him I shout "dean!" he turns and walks back as I pant for air "Jackie? You ok?" he sits me down on a wall as I search my pockets. I pull out a small blue tube and suck in the medicine from it "you have Asthma?" I look up at him "tell anyone an I'll rip your tongue out and smack ya with it!" he looks down at me "ok, whatever. Was there a reason you were chasing me?" I stand, basket in hand "I had to buy my own basket and my only friends have already got someone to eat theirs with." realization dawns "so you thought we could eat together? What, did you poison it?" I glare up "no! I just….I wanted to say thanks. For helping me that one time." he smirks and nods "oh. So you want to have play nice and lunch with me as a thank you!" I slap him on the arm "don't get use to it!" and we start walking to find somewhere to eat.

All the parks and stuff are jam packed, so I decide to go where it'll at least be quite, the ice rink. As we walk in he sighs "you want to eat here?" I take a seat in the stands "yeah, I like it here." he nods without question "so, shall we find out what I'll be poisoned with?" I shake my head as he opens the basket, finding fresh sausage rolls, honey ham sandwiches, a fresh smooth orange juice, two soda's, two slices of apple pie, sprinkle cookies and choc-chip cookies "you made all this?" I smile at his surprise "yeah, I was real good at cookery in school. It always makes me feel better, calm. don't know why." he nods and picks up the rolls, handing me one. He take a bite and his eyes go wide "god! I think this is the best thing I've ever had in my mouth!" I smile and announce triumphantly "told ya!" as we eat I can see his face has gone back to that confused place as he asks "what is it with Jess?" he looks at me and continues "I mean you and Rory are the only people in town he's nice to. What's that about?" I shrug and answer "I don't know. His life's fucked up, my life's fucked up, Rory likes books, he likes books…" he shakes his head lightly and I sigh in confession "we didn't judge him! When he got sent here we didn't jump to conclusions or assume he was a bad person. Yeah he plays his cards close to his chest and has a bad attitude, but something's in life make it so you feel that how ya hav to be to survive." he looks up at me his brow drawn inward "oh…I guess I get that." then we continue to eat.

As we finish off the cookies he asks "so why'd you choose to come _here_?" I smile and answer "I love to skate. When I was a kid my dad took me and Kristy every Friday after school, even though the nearest rink was over a two hour drive away." I chuckle, smiling sadly "but then they died, an it just didn't feel right anymore." he looks at me sadly "I heard what happened to them, miss Patty knows all!" I laugh at his deep voice at Miss Patty's expense. Suddenly he stands and offers me his hand "come on!" I stare up at him but before I can protest he says "they wouldn't want you to give up on something you love, besides if it was something you did with them, then it's a way for you to remember them right?" I smile and take his hand. We head over to the skate booth and get grab out our sizes from the empty booth.

As we slide on to the ice I say "I didn't know you could skate!" he smiles "yeah, I play ice Hockey." I smirk "cool! I like ice Hockey! Its violent and mean and I get to yell at people!" he laughs with a shake of his head. We skate around for awhile, its fun, weird, never thought I'd have fun with Dean. When we leave the ice rink and pack up he says "when we leave here we go back to hating each other don't we?" he seems kinda sad, so I shrug "I guess, I mean I cant have you destroying my feared and respected reputation. Besides, people like us weren't made to be friends." he looks down at me and smiles sadly "maybe not." with that I pick up my stuff and head home.

When I get home I smile at uncle Charlie, sitting on the couch doing paperwork. He looks up at me and smiles "hello dear. Are you alright?" I walk over and take a seat next to him "yeah, am good." I stare out as I announce "am goin to take up skating again." I look at him and his blue eyes sparkle as he pulls me in for a hug "dear that's wonderful news." he pulls back with a wide smile "we'll go into Hartford and get you new things this week! I'll make a day free in my diary. Gosh, we can make a day of it, just the two of us." I smile happily and nod "yeah, that sounds nice." I stand and head for my room, but as I reach the door he says "Jackie, what changed your mind about skating? After all this time?" I smile and say "someone just put it in perspective for me. Its my link to them, I get that now." he nods lightly "well whomever they are they have my thanks. You were always your happiest when you skated." I nod back "night uncle Charlie." as I leave the room he says it back.

The rest of the week fly's by, Jess informs me on his time with Rory, it seems that we're making progress, Rory and Lorelai are in a fight, its strange, I've never seen them fight, but they made up by Saturday. Connor came back on Wednesday, smothering me as usual. Charlie and I went up to Hartford on Thursday, we bought a number of different skating outfits/dresses, most in blue to match my skates, which are beautiful. They are a snow while with navy and powder blue vines running across the sides, with powder blue laces. They fit like a glove, like they were made just for me. I cant help but feel better, Dean was right, this is my link. Guess I owe him more than a nice lunch for this.


	6. Dexter

The last few days have not been to good, what with Lane on lockdown and all, I only see her during school. However with growth spurt working more hours Rory and I've been able to hang more, and I sometimes conveniently invite jess then make an excuse to leave. I know trying to brake her and dean up is bitchy, but they don't fit! At all! He's the popular, naive jock and she's the town princess book warm! don't get me wrong I love Rory, but this madness has to be stopped!

Today's Rory's debate thing, I asked uncle Charlie if I could go, but he said school comes first, which means I'm completely pissed! But when the teacher says he's here to take me to my dentist appointment I quickly brighten up. When I get outside and into his silver car I smile "thought you said school comes first?" he smiles back "it dose, but so dose loyalty and friendship!" I hug him and then buckle up as we race to Chilton.

We stand at the back and watch quietly, I cant help but smile at Rory, who hasn't noticed I'm there. When the debate is over Chilton wins, shocker with Paris's craziness, I walk over to Rory, who is standing with her mum, Sookie and a couple I don't know. I stand behind her and place my hands over her eyes "guess who!" she quickly turns and hugs me "Jackie! What are you doing here?" I smile and mock hurt "what you thought I'd miss your big day? Nar! You rocked. I think that kid was dieing a little with every word." she laughs then hugs Charlie behind me "excellent argument my dear, almost as convincing as when Jackie made me participate in the spring fair!" we laugh and she turns "Dad, this is my friend Jackie and her uncle Charlie, guys this is my dad Christopher and his girlfriend Sherry." I shake their hands, noticing the slight glare from Lorelai.

When we leave Paris takes a tantrum and I have to head back to school. When I walk in I'm cornered by Jess "so how did she do?" I look at him confused "the debate?" I don't bother denying it "she won!" he smiles at me as we walk to the Chemistry.

Connor and I walk into the house after he picked me up from studying with Jess and shout "we're home!" as I walk into the living room I smile "hey Charlie what's up?" the older man smiles, a green box with a red bow sitting on the table. I look at him curiously as he takes my hand and leads me to the couch, sitting in front of the box "Charlie what…" but he stops me "I saw this today and I knew you had to have it! We go on…" I smile and reach for the lid and lift it eagerly, as I a white Labrador puppy pops his head out, I gasp in surprise and pick up the beautiful animal "he's had his shots, all he needs is a name and someone to love him." I look up and stand, puppy in arms and hug him tightly "thanks Charlie! I love him! I'll call you…Dexter!" I smile, so happy about my new friend I don't see the disgruntled look from my boyfriend.

The next day I walk to Luke's with Dexter in my arms and see Rory talking to Sherry. I run over and say "Ror!" they turn and make cutesy noises about the puppy "Jackie, he's gorgeous! Who's is he?" I smile ear to ear "mine! Uncle Charlie got him for me. I've called him Dexter. Ya wanna come shoppin wit me today to get him all his stuff?" she smiles happily. I smile to sherry, repeating in my head '_don't hate this woman don't hate this woman!' _but for some reason I do, I hate her because Lorelai, the mother I never had seems so distraught by just looking at her.

Lorelai told us to have fun shopping, after declining the invitation. We ended up buying a large, grey, wall/floor cushioned bed, with a matching blanket. A load of dog food, treats and toys and lastly a navy collar and leash, with white paw prints and a paw print name tag, Dexter in capitals on the front, with my details on the back. As we walk home, Dexter on his new leash I smile to my friend "so how's your mum? We've been dodgin da subject all day." she sighs "I don't know, I think she's trying to be brave about the whole dad moving on thing, but I don't think she's doing very well." I rap an arm around her and promise "she'll be ok, I've never met a more resilient woman than Lorelai, she'll get over it." she leans her head on my shoulder as we continue to be pulled my the eager puppy.

When I get home I smile as I put everything away, Dexter, playing with his red chew ball as I place his bed on the floor in the corner, just next to the window seat. I look up as my door opens, its Connor, "hey you, so what ya think? Did I get everything?" he nods looking around "looks like. Jacks, look I wanted to talk to ya, I know I've been clingy an shit lately and am sorry. I just…it feels like am losein you." I walk over to him, hugging the skinny 22 year old "Con, am here babe. Am right here." he rubs my back and stokes my hair "I know, you're my girl." I only hear the sweetness in that, not the possessive crazyness.

**_PLEASE PLEASE _REVIEW!**


	7. dont i

I walk into Luke's, Conner's hand in mine and smile when I see Rory sitting at a table, we go over and I smile "hay Ror!" she smiles back with a light wave at the same time Jess runs down stairs. He stops in front of us and I smile "morning!" he nods and I can feel Connor glaring at him beside me and nudge him lightly Jess just looks at us and says to Rory "your moms upstairs with Luke, I'm not insinuating but they might be a while!" I laugh and Rory shakes her head as he smiles at me and heads out for his Jess time, meaning heal find a quite place to read and block the world out for a few hours. As he leaves I smile at Rory as we make idle chat, me and Connor are going out for the day, up to New Haven, just doing some window shopping.

When we get back to town Connor heads over to work and I smile as I pick Dexter up from the floor, and he nuzzles into my lap, Charlie walks into the room and I smile up from the TV "hey uncle Charlie!" he smiles at me and asks with a worried look "are you alright my dear, you seem tired." I smile and rub my eyes "I'm fine, just a long day." I don't tell him that Connor was overly touchy whenever a guy even glanced in my direction, I don't mind the overly protective, slightly possessive thing, actually I kind of like it, but he's making me feel like a prisoner in my own skin. The white haired man picks up some papers from the table and leaves with a smile "try to get some rest." I nod as he walks out then sigh as I look down at the Lab in my lap, his head tilted, like he's asking me a question and I stroke his ear "yeah, I'm miserable. don't tell!" me makes a little yelp and I cant help but smile.

The next day as I walk Dexter, who's pulling on his lead, I see Jess headed my way and smile to my friend "hey brainy-ack!" he smiles and nods "nice dog!" I smile back "thanks, where you going?" he points past me and say "Gilmore's, the gutters are apparently attacking people now." I laugh lightly and say "oh, well you go play hero and call me when its safe to come out, me and Dex will be in the park, hiding under a bench!" he laughs with me and says, walking backward to the Gilmore house "sounds like a plan! Later Jackie" I wave and continue with my walk.

After an hour in the park I head for something to ear, feeding Dexter half my plate at Luke's, then decide to head over to the book fair, they might have something. As I look I see Dean and Rory, a quick kiss and as she goes to leave sees me "hey Jackie, didn't think I'd see you here!" she says and I smile, trying not to say anything bitchy to Dean, I've had a good day, best not spoil it "what's that you've got?" he asks and I smile raising the book in my hand "its actually called 'Dexter' its about this blood expert for the mimi police who saw his mum get killed when he was a kid and a copper took him in, realized he had evil in him and rained him to kill murders who get away with it!" they both look at me and Dean nods "that sounds cool!" actually seeming interested. Dean smiles at his girlfriend and tells her to go and she practically runs for a section of books. We stand there awkwardly for a moment, but then Dexter starts rubbing his head on the tall boys leg "he seems to like me!" and I laugh "give him time growth spurt!" he just shakes his head with a small girl "whatever scary Mary!" and I walk past him to pay for my book.

Later at home there's a knock on the door and I open it to see a panicked Rory, who storms in and starts searching my house "Ror, why are you ripping apart my living room?" as she searches she says "I lost the bracelet Dean gave me, he made it for me and I've lost it!" I look at her as she slums down on the couch and smile "it'll turn up, everything in this town finds its way to the surface at some point!" she sighs and stands "yeah, your right. Could you have a look around and call me if you find it?" I give her a hug and nod "defiantly!" and I watch as she leaves with slump shoulders. My heart goes out to her, she seems so upset. I envy what her and Dean, I know Jess is a billion times better for her, but Dean is just so understanding and sweet…ok hold up, what was that? don't think of Dean, Rory's boyfriend, the guy you hate like that! I shake my head and sigh "weird moment!" and shut the door.

As I lay in bed that night, Connor beside me I look up at his sleeping face and I shrug out of his arms, grabbing my robe rather than his shirt to cover me and go to my window, as I look out I feel sad and lost, then look at Connor and repeat in my head 'he loves me and I love him he loves me and I love him….don't I?'


End file.
